My letter to You

Dear Jerusha,

By now I'm sure that your mom and dad have told you the wonderful story about your adoption and how you came to be their daughter. And over the years, as you've grown up with them and had the wonderful story of your life explained to you, I'm sure you've often wondered about this woman that gave birth to you and allowed you to be raised by your wonderful mom and dad. I am that woman. My name is Jessika and I'm writing you this letter to explain to you why I made the choice I did, and to explain to you that this choice was made out of love.

I first found out that I was pregnant with you when I was 16. At that time, I was not prepared to become a mom. My life was not ready to provide everything that a growing child would need to grow healthily. This is not to say that I didn't want you. Not in the least. I loved you very much, from the very moment I found out that I was pregnant with you. I loved you too much to get an abortion.I wanted to give you life. I wanted to give you a better life than I could provide you on my own.

Amongst the reasons I decided to place you for adoption was of course, the financial reasons. I was 16 years old and had no steady work. I was still in high school, and with no diploma, I would not have been able to obtain a job that would allow me to provide for all of your needs: clothes, rent, food, and the like, and still be able to be your mom. 

The other main reason I chose to place you for adoption was because your birth father and I were no longer together or getting along. I was not in contact with him and had no idea wether or not he would be around for you. I wanted to be able to give you a mom and a dad who both love you and who love eachother. Because of these reasons, I felt that Seth and Zoe would be better suited to play the roles of mom and dad.

Enough about that though. If you've ever wondered about me, you've probably wondered about other people in your birth family. Well, at the time that I am writing this letter, I am living with your wonderful birth grandfather named Dennis and abirth aunt (my younger sister) named Brooklyn, in Fresno, California both of whom I am very close to, even at times when we don't always get along. You also have a birth grandmother, Sonia, who lives in another state. My mother and father divorced when I was 7 and my sister was 2. 

I have little contact with my maternal grandparents so I can't tell you much about them. But my paternal grandparents have had a huge role in my life. My grandmother, Heidi, was born in Munich, Germany during World War II. She is a very strong woman and I have much respect for her. My grandfather, David, was the son Portuguese immigrants and grew up on a dairy farm in Los Banos, California. 

At the time of this letter, I am now graduated from high school, and I attend Fresno City College where I am working on my degree in English and trying to become a high school teacher. I have no other children yet, and no husband. I think about you every day, and I have thought about you every day since I was in the hospital. I hope that one day, I will have the priviledge of meeting you again, on your own terms. Even if we never see eachother again, please remember that you're always in my heart, even while you can't be in my arms.

Love,
Your friend and Birthmother,
Jessika